It’s human nature to feel you fit in – it feels good to belong and be accepted by others. It could be where you work, groups you belong to, or socially with family and friends.
Sometimes – no matter how much you try – you just don’t FEEL it. Self-doubt creeps in, comparing yourself with others with what I call the ‘not enough’ mindset. Or just feel plain different 🟪🕳
If you try harder this can make things a whole lot worse. Think about it. If you’re so focused on fitting in, how much are you being yourself? How much better would it be if you feel what you feel – honestly – and think about what’s best for you? 🤔
Deep down, we’re at our best when we’re being ourselves, rather than relentlessly trying to fit in with other people. This story's close to my heart – one with a happy ending 📖 👇
For a few years, one of my family was on a rollercoaster of highs and lows that had a debilitating effect on her health and quality of life – a manic high could last a week and depression for about two weeks. She placed all her hope in the medication to ‘fix’ her and wasn't seeing any improvement over time. A friend encouraged her to see another medical practitioner who suggested that she began to reduce the medication because it would never solve everything for her. Hearing that burst her bubble of hope and her heart began to sink 💔
The medic then went on to say something that she'd never expected to hear.......that her health would improve if she started to live the best life she could - within the parameters she had. This was her Damascus moment of awakening 💡 She realised for the first time that she needed to live a life she could cope with - not the kind of life other people lived who didn't have the challenges she had.
That was a clear invitation to carve out a life that worked for HER – by slowing down, reducing her commitment to others, looking after herself with simple lifestyle changes. One of the significant changes she made was gradually immersing herself in cold, icy water. Her overheated brain felt clearer and calmer, soothed by the cold water. A game/life changer for her - but I, for one, would find this too much of a shock to my system! Her self-care commitment created a dramatic improvement in her health – feeling depressed lasting for one day only 🌱
She’d found a way of keeping her condition under control that worked for her – because she got to know herself and stopped trying to match her life with everyone else’s. She's learned that the changes to her life have created a ‘buffer’ of wellbeing for her. If that buffer becomes more narrow, she knows exactly how to expand its ‘bandwidth’ to keep her topped up.
Some reassurance for anyone who's feeling at times that they don't fit ⏬
“If you feel like you don’t fit in this world, it’s because you’re here to help create a new one” – anon
BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU
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